One Bad Day- With RAINBOWS!!!!

ANd i dont know why i feel anyone needs to know this, because at this point, there’s not much more anyone can offer but unhelpful advice or kind words meant to ease my  aching heart.

I left R@AB because the location was too threatening.
I left Manitou because my living arrangements were too dangerous.
I am now stuck back at home with my transphobic, homophobic, religious mother with a month to find a new home, and my brother, who recently refused outpatient therapy for his drug addictions, has come crawling back as he always does with crocodile tears and a woefully apologetic face to mooch off of my mother and once again have no consequences to his actions, meaning i am now living in a location TWICE as dangerous as EACH previous location.

ANd i have no way to escape it.

I DO NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO PUT UP WITH THIS.

I am not sure how much longer i can carry on like this, hurting every day, cringing at every sound, flinching at every touch, heart stopping at every mention of my name.

Even my nightmares of being abandoned by my family and friends have become welcome refuge, because in my dreams, i have a safe home to return to after each devastating occurrence.

I find myself craving cigarettes and alcohol more and more often, hoping to shorten  the suffering as much as possible.

I just want this all to end.

I just want to end.
I want out. 

binesi-manidoo:

emeraldtriangleprincess:

have a spare minute? do the world a favor and report this etsy shop. they sell “universal ethnic headbands,” “little Indian headbands” (faux headdresses), and “shaman hats.” they are now featured on etsy’s homepage as a shop to check out. 

signaaaaal boooooooost

DAMMIT WHITE PEOPLE. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT